Soulful Sunday: The Law Of Entrainment’s Vibrations, Wavelengths & Why You Keep Dating Your Parent (Energetically Speaking)

Why Your Energy Picks Your Partners Before Your Brain Does—And How To Stop Repeating Emotional Reruns

Previously, we unpacked how getting clear on your romantic Non-Negotiables can help you dodge unnecessary heartbreak. But there’s another hidden force shaping our relationships—and it’s not just chemistry, charm, or whether they text back in full sentences. Enter: The Law of Entrainment. It may sound like a concept from a steampunk romance novel, but stay with me. This natural law might explain why you’re magnetically drawn to certain people… and why you sometimes end up emotionally train-wrecked, according to Resonance Repatternist Mary Schneider.

Get To Know The Law of Entrainment

At its core, entrainment is about synchronization. When two things are “entrained,” they’re literally on the same wavelength—matching rhythms, pulses, vibes. From a physics standpoint, we’re all just vibrating bundles of energy (cue your favorite yoga teacher nodding wisely). Chloe Faith Wordsworth, in her book Spiral Up, explains that when the peaks and valleys of one wave line up with another, their energetic power doubles. That’s right—double the joy, peace, motivation, creativity…, anxiety, chaos, or rage, depending on whom you’re syncing with.

That’s why spiritual traditions have long preached the importance of good company. Ever notice how your own behavior subtly shifts depending on who you’re around? Kindness begets kindness. Snark breeds snark. Spend enough time with someone vibrating at anxiety-level red alert, and you’ll soon find yourself clenching your jaw, too. This is entrainment at work. We mirror the energetic frequency of those we’re close to, whether we realize it or not.

Take it from me. Despite my best intentions not to become my mother, I did. Not all of her, of course. But somewhere along the line, I became entrained to her anger. It seeped in like a background noise, and I stopped noticing. As a child, I wondered, “Why am I so mad all the time?” Sure, there was trauma, abuse, plenty to be upset about. But what deepened the experience was the energetic proximity to her rage. She lived it. I absorbed it. And to make things even more potent, I also came in with my own fiery wiring. It was a trifecta: trauma, entrainment, and modeled wrath-as-coping.

And then—because the universe has a twisted sense of humor—the more I resisted becoming like her, the more I locked it in. “I will never be my mother,” I chanted like a battle cry. And by resisting her, I unknowingly reinforced the very pattern I was trying to escape. (Shoutout to the law of resistance: what you resist, persists. Ugh.)

Here’s the plot twist: my mother, in all her fury and brilliance, became one of my greatest teachers. Her passing last fall opened the floodgates of reflection. It hit me—I am her. Genetically, energetically, experientially. But I also had tools she didn’t. Therapy. Emotional education. A will to grow. And through that, I’ve been able to keep the radiant parts of her and finally set down the rage I was never meant to carry. Bumping up against her unmovable will made me resilient. That, too, was a gift.

The science of entrainment isn’t new. In the 1600s, Dutch physicist Christiaan Huygens observed it firsthand. He placed 25 pendulum clocks on a wall, each swinging in its quirky rhythm. Within an hour, they were all in sync. Just imagine that: twenty-five clocks, all ticking together. Imagine being raised in a household with one or two wildly off-kilter emotional pendulums for eighteen years. You’d better believe your inner rhythm would adjust to theirs. It’s not just about behavior. It’s about the vibration beneath it.

Romantic Familiarity

This is why many of us end up in romantic relationships that feel… eerily familiar. You know that feeling:

“I feel like I’ve known this person my whole life.”
Well, energetically, maybe you have.

“They’re nothing like my father!”
Give it time.

We don’t always entrain to our parents’ surface behavior—we entrain to the energetic blueprint, the mood, the emotional undertone, and the unspoken tension. And before long, we’re starring in a sequel to our parents’ love story, wondering how we got the script.

So, what’s the antidote?

First, awareness. The more conscious we become of our own frequency—what we’re emitting, absorbing, mirroring—the more we can shift it. And then: boundaries. This is where those Non-Negotiables come in again. If someone doesn’t meet you with mutual vulnerability, curiosity, or care, you’re not entrained—you’re enduring. Compatibility isn’t just about shared interests. It’s about emotional resonance.

Alan Watts put it beautifully:

“No matter how open, peaceful, or loving you are, others can only connect with you at the depth they’ve reached within themselves.”

Read that again because it explains so much. We may want a deep, resonant connection, but someone else’s energetic basement might be as far down as they’ve ever gone. You can’t build a penthouse suite with someone still living on the ground floor of their emotional building.

When entrainment and discernment go hand in hand—when you match vibes and values—you don’t just fall in love. You rise in love. And that, friends, is how relationships become not only tolerable but transformational.

For more information on connecting with Mary Schneider and Resonance Repatterning, visit here.

Note: The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It should not be considered as advice. Readers should consult with a professional advisor before making any decisions. All opinions expressed in this blog post are solely those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of any affiliated organizations. Readers are encouraged to conduct their own research and due diligence.