Curated Texan
Photography courtesy of Shutterstock
Ah, romance. Just what everyone needs…right? The Valentine’s Day marketing machine and the quest for social acceptance can make “Singles Awareness Day” dreary or even cruel if you’re alone, whether by choice or by circumstance. Sometimes it’s hard to see what else life has to offer when you’re bombarded with romantic comedies on TV, flowers, romance novels, cutesy heart-shaped trinkets in the stores, and never-ending drippy advertisements and event announcements. If it’s only one day out of 365, why do we all feel so much pressure to be happily coupled up, asks professional matchmaker Julia McCurley, founder of Something More?
1. Get some perspective
First, let’s dispel the notion that you’re the sole human on earth who isn’t spending V-Day with a significant other. Just look at the stats. Fifty percent of adult Americans are single — a number that roughly translates into 17 million women and 14 million men — and 31 million of them live alone. A national lonely hearts club, you say? Quite the opposite. According to Eric Klinenberg, author of Going Solo, the Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, people are choosing to live alone, and despite the best efforts of every romantic comedy ever made to convince us otherwise, many of those consider their current single status “a mark of distinction, not a social failure.”
2. Embrace Being Single
Instead of feeling down about your single status, flip it in your head and tell yourself, “I’m single because I’m waiting for a good relationship and won’t settle for anything less.” When you make positive statements, you feel a greater sense of control over your life and feel happier and proud as a result. Don’t just be confident about your single status––be a little cocky! Feel good about the fact that you’re not like so many others, crying into their cocktails as they complain about their deadbeat boyfriends or girlfriends.
3. Be happy for others
Just because you didn’t get a dozen roses and a box of chocolates or have someone to give them to doesn’t mean that you should scoff at the idea. Be happy for others and admire that they are content or in a relationship where gestures of love are shown. Don’t be jealous; be happy, and know that being in a happy place for yourself and others will put you that much closer to finding the right person. No one wants to date an unhappy or bitter person. And if you let yourself get to that place of resentment of other people’s happiness, you might get stuck in that hole.
4. Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers…it’s for love
Show those you love or those who have been extra supportive of your split just how much you appreciate and love them. A homemade Valentine’s card, flowers, or even a handwritten letter to your best friend or mom, dad, brother, sister, etc., will let them know just how much you appreciate them. Giving something to those that you love will make you feel amazing, and chances are, they’ll stick by your side even more now that they know how much their support has meant to you.
5. Make Plans For Fun
Find out what’s happening in the singles scene. Many bars and establishments hold singes parties that will give you a chance to celebrate the day as an unattached person. Don’t take your love expectations, though; just have a great time and discover some new people to talk to and with whom you can share a mocktail, or a cocktail. This isn’t about falling for anyone out of loneliness. If you don’t feel like heading to a bar, throw a party at home Stat planning early and decide whether you want to host a party for both single men and women, or just have a “girl’s night in” with your closest girlfriends.
6. Avoid Triggers
Stay off Facebook and online dating sites/apps, don’t watch romantic movies, change the radio if a love song comes on, don’t read old emails, love letters, etc, and for God’s sake, do not drunk dial your ex! In fact, if you feel the urge to email, instant message, or text on the big day, stop, turn off the technology, and reboot your brain. No good can come from a weak moment down memory lane. Just say no to reconnecting with former flames!
7. There are no expectations
Valentine’s Day takes a lot of work if you’re with someone. From the gifts to the grooming, the chatter to the chardonnay, you and your partner probably put a lot of work into making sure that everything is perfect for as close to 24 full hours as possible. When you’re single, no one cares if you get comfy in your pajamas while running a Netflix marathon of Gossip Girl or Dragon Ball Z. It’s a very “you do you” kind of day when you don’t have to worry about anyone else.
8. You are awesome all on your own
C’mon. You already know that you don’t need anyone on Valentine’s Day. One day out of the year isn’t going to fix every relationship problem you’ve ever had, so just remember how much your last relationship was less than you hoped and how much better off you are on your own. Maybe next year, you’ll have your Mr. or Mrs. Right. For now, just keep doing your thing, and don’t let your coupled-up friends drag you into their misery on Valentine’s Day or any other day.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only. It should not be considered as advice. Readers should consult with a professional advisor before making any decisions. Curated Texan and the author do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of the information provided. All opinions expressed in this blog post are solely those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of any affiliated organizations. Readers are encouraged to conduct their own research and due diligence.
