Curated Texan
Our very own Mr. Host With The Most Lance Avery Morgan is always on duty to help smooth out social wrinkles that can occur as he fields your dinner party etiquette questions.
Dear Mr. Host With The Most,
What are your thoughts on the best seating for a dinner party? Wondering Wonk
Dear Wonderment,
A dinner party is one of the things that separates us from mere primates, so thank heavens you care so much about how your guests will get along at a dinner party. The guest of honor always sits to the host’s right, even in a restaurant. I always like to place the guest of honor facing out into the dining area of a restaurant if you’re not entertaining at home. If there are two hosts and two guests, the guest of honor will be seated on the right of the most senior host in age.
Dear Mr. Host With The Most,
You’ll know this. How do you suggest I mix guests up a bit to spark conversation at a dinner party? Sparky Von Sparkerman
Dear Sparks Flying,
My golden rule is to always act as a good host…and to be a good host no matter what official role you are filling for the evening. It’s tantamount to make your guests as comfortable as possible. For instance, don’t sit two doctors together, since they would spend likely the whole meal discussing medicine and they might exclude others in the dinner chat. Conversely, you likely don’t want to seat together two people of opposing political views if they’re prone to go to the mat for their political party. Dinner conversation should be lively, interesting, and upbeat, and the seating should reflect this.
Not everyone is a conversationalist, so mix it up a tad. Plus, it’s a dinner guests’ responsibility to keep the conversation flowing. They can check the headlines Huffington Post before leaving home to brush up on today’s events, right? If you see that an argument may ensue, pass the lobster and change the conversation as quickly as possible. And really, why would you have a dinner party without everyone being interesting? If you must invite boring people, place them all together–they don’t know they are boring and will get along fine. One sure thing is that if everyone’s game, keep the cocktails flowing. My favorite? A French 76. Really top drawer.
Dear Mr. Host With The Most,
I am attending a formal dinner party and always forget where to place my napkin when I get up from the table for a moment or have finished my meal. Can you help me figure it out? Dining For Dollars Dear Dollar Signs,
It’s really quite simple and these are the small fineries of life that sometimes get overlooked. First, place your napkin in your lap as soon as you are seated. Use your napkin only to blot the corners of your mouth, not as if you are cleaning your windshield. If you must get up from the table during the meal, neatly place your napkin in your seat. If you drop your napkin, and it is in easy reach, retrieve it. If you are unable to retrieve it without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one. Happens all the time. Only after the meal is completely over should you place your napkin on the table. Do so only after the host has indicated he/she is finished. Then, place your napkin to the left your plate since it’s never placed directly on your plate.
Dear Mr. Host With The Most,
I have a friend, really a dear one since college days. She and her hubby are perpetually late. So late that if the reservations are at 8 o’clock, we tell them 7 in hopes they arrive by 8.30. We adore them and they are a barrel of monkeys to know, yet the lateness is wearing thin since we’re all grown-ups now. Any advice? Early Bird In Paradise
Dear Birdie,
Nothing says to hell with everyone than a consistently late friend or guest, does it? I grew up with a few family members like that, hence my being five minutes early everywhere. Your pals’ arrogance, or really, immaturity would indeed get old fast. Normally, I’d recommend giving someone one more chance after having a serious talk with about how everyone finds the chronic lateness to be both inconvenient and gosh darn it, disrespectful. If things don’t change, start making plans without them. If they ask why they are being excluded, then simply tell them directly that you’d be happy to make plans with them again if, and only if, they will commit to arriving on time. If they remain arriving late, then it’s arrivederci and adios.
